Relationship Questions And Partnership Finances
Have you ever heard the term love and money make the world go around? It rings quite true! However, does the same hold as true even in an intimate relationship? I heard a wise woman once say that when money doesn’t come in the door love flies out the window even in healthy relationships. Can love and money influence a romantic relationship? Have you ever caught yourself thinking about the spending or saving habits of your spouse, generally in the negative? Maybe even worse than that arguing with them over the dirty subject of money. Well, get in line. Put any two people in close quarters and have them discuss money and you are bound to find disagreement somewhere along the way. After all, it is the most common issue people argue over in relationships. It even takes the lead over cheating.
All types of relationship take time and effort. Regardless of the depth of your loving emotion towards another, working at merging your lives, including finances can be challenging.
Finances And How To Be In A Relationship With Them
Marriage is more than just two people living together. It is a partnership, that comes with partnership responsibilities. Finances are one of those things that partners need to discuss yet it can be a difficult subject to breach because we all have slightly different ideas about money. Some couples have REALLY different ideas about the use of money. Their realities are different and we know that we create reality. Some people are spenders, some are hoarders some are money monks that believe that money is just a necessary evil that someone has to handle but “not me”.
Again if you take a poll you will probably find that 70% of the people surveyed will state that money is a cause of unease in the relationship. So why not let sleeping dogs lie, out of sight out of mind. Wrong! The longer you let issues fester the harder it is to discuss them. A new couple should really take the time to discuss money and how it is handled in their relationship right off the bat. Set some guidelines, some boundaries and come to some form or mutual agreement. Again it is a partnership. If you were in a business relationship with someone could you imagine not discussing financial matters? Of course, not. Add love to that equation and oops there go cooler minds.
Money and Spirituality
Just a quick note about the truth about money. Remember that money is just energy and so it follows the laws of energy. Like energy attracts like energy. So if you feel abundant, money abundance will follow. There is actually no need to argue about money when you look at it from a spiritual viewpoint.
Relationship Tips And Advice About Love And Money
- Is It Truly About The Money… Personal history, parental influence, past relationships, self-esteem, control all have bearing on how one feels about any subject let alone money. Try putting the toilet paper roll on the other way around. This is all about money habits you have created for yourselves throughout your life, both of your lives.
- The Partnership Agreement… Talk, don’t argue, together with your spouse or loved-one about what your individual desires and needs are around finances. Be open to new ideas. Seek first to understand. Set some goals and boundaries you both can be happy about. Then write them down so you have a written contract that you both can look to in times of frustration. Your partners, you need a partnership agreement.
- Lifestyle Choices… Remember to include spending for pleasure in your negotiations. Yes, negotiations. You are talking about how to conduct your finances so there will be some give and take. This is what is referred to as a negotiation. Bills and household expenditures are very rarely the reason for relationship problems. It often comes down to spending outside of the agreed parameters. One solution is to each have a specific amount of money that is yours to do with as you choose. The agreement is that you have absolutely no say in how that money is spent by the other individual. Another area of spending is a vacation budget (ooh that terrible word). Agree upon this as well. You both may not have lifestyle choices coincide. Work on some mutually agreeable area then both work toward it.
- Income Variances... Both members in a relationship don’t always earn the same amounts. Remember the word we have been using, partnership. You are in it together. It should never be “my money”. The best term to use is “our money”. Share and share alike. One of the greatest forms of disrespect in a relationship is to rub financial inequality in your partner’s face.
- Be In Charge… Don’t let non-invested individuals make the rules. You both are in charge. Often kids or parents or friends will suggest how you should spend your money. You are in charge. Keep it that way.
- Honesty... You have heard that honesty is the best policy. It is. If you are looking for a way of how to ruin a relationship try lying about money. You can not hide from the reality of money expenditures. Spending money leaves a trail. At some point, the truth will come out so why even try to hide it? Again if you have created a good foundation of trust and understanding around money this will probably never be an issue.
This may all sound too much for some of you Money Monks however the rest of you may have gleaned some good relationship advice. Tonight we have a special guest that is an expert in the field of relationships and how money can affect them. Jürgen Schmechel the Relationship Expert comes to us all the way from Australia and will share some of his wisdom with us,
Love And Money And How To Fix A Relationship In Trouble
Jurgen wasn’t always a counselor. He used to be a mathematician, consulting to CFOs and COOs in the business sector. One day he realized that he had a different gift.
A chance conversation with a lifelong friend, shocked him to the core – his friend was on the verge of divorce and Jürgen felt compelled to help. Which he did, in the only way he knew how at the time.
But what followed was an overwhelming desire to play a part in creating a world where people lived in loving, intimate and respectful relationships as he was, whilst enabling children to grow up feeling secure and loved.
Jurgen has a practical, no-nonsense approach to many of the different stressors and pitfalls in a relationship. He strives to help all those that come to him with issues reagin the passion in their relationships and rekindle the love that may seem lost. Today, he shares some interesting relationship tips with us.
He makes the difficult seem achievable and inspires the change that is necessary to see a realistic and long-lasting ‘happily ever after.
Inspirational love quotes from Jurgen:
“I believe that every person deserves to be loved and respected in their relationship.”
“Way too often we forget to cherish our partner and the special connection we have to the detriment of our children.”
Here are some of the questions that we ask Jurgen:
- When do you know, that a relationship has no future?
- Why are men behaving differently from women in relationships?
- What are the key elements in any relationship?
- Does your partner have the right to change you?
- What are the biggest challenges for any relationship?
- What is the commonality of long-lasting relationships?
- Why is money more important than sex in a relationship?
- What could anyone do to improve their relationship?
- How can men get back to find themselves?
- How do you build trust in a relationship?
You can learn more about Jurgen at www.inspiring-relationships.com.au
Join us in this episode of Unlocking Your Truth, Love And Money In Your Relationships when we discuss what to do when someone is sabotaging relationship because of money.
In This Podcast You Will Learn:
- How to make a relationship work.
- Signs of a healthy relationship.
- How to make a relationship better.
Free Guided Meditation
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Unlocking Your Truth is my weekly radio show where we discuss all things metaphysical like Love And Money In Your Relationships! And much more! The show airs on CIVL 101.7 FM at 7-8PM (Pacific Time) every Tuesday evening or live-stream the show at CIVL.ca. During each of our Unlocking Your Truth episodes, we also answer email questions from our listeners (click here to submit a question) as well as occasionally do readings live on air for our call in guests. You can call in 604.504.7441 ext 4142 and ask anything you want. You can also join us on simultaneous Facebook Live broadcasts of Unlocking Your Truth with Dr. Lesley.