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Do We Choose Our Parents?
Tonight’s episode of Unlocking Your Truth with Dr. Lesley was inspired by a question that we received from a Facebook group member.
“I am looking for information on how we agree to incarnate, and we choose our parents. Was the choice of my parents preordained? asked by Tracy F.“
She is really keen to know how do we choose our parents. Basically, she would like to know if before you incarnate or reincarnate is the choice of your parents preordained. Do you choose your parents before you create an incarnation on Earth? The one-word answer to that question is yes, you do.
Preordained Meaning – “If you say that something is preordained, you mean you believe it to be happening in the way that has been decided by a power such as God or fate. [formal] …the belief that our actions are the unfolding of a preordained destiny.” Preordained Definition supplied by Collins Dictionary
Before I Incarnated Was The Choice Of My Parents Preordained?
Do We Reincarnate Into The Same Family?
After you pass in your specific reality, you definitely can be reincarnated into the same family, but it is not a common occurrence. Yet, there are several things we can say about that. Of course, when you reincarnate, you tend to reincarnate with the same people over and over again. That is what is called a soul group.
You will have a specific group of souls that you are very closely related to and with whom you travel through time, travel through incarnations. Within the soul groups, the types of relationships shift and change.
Sometimes, a particular soul might be young and yet play the role of your mother. Another time the same spirit may play the role of your child. Another time this being may play the role of your boss, your cousin, and so on. You do repeatedly incarnate with the same people; however, they are not necessarily your family.
You can think of your soul group as actors in a play. Before you incarnate, you have a general idea about the purpose of that lifetime. The themes you will explore in that lifetime. Then you need some other actors in that play, who will help you have those experiences. They may volunteer to play all the different parts to help you with your learning experience. And you may volunteer to play a particular role for them.
Pre Birth Agreements
You could call these pre-birth agreements. Soul groups are founded on love. But, just like in a play, you might have a group of actors, a cast that all have fun together. You all go to the pub before and after the show and enjoy each other’s company. Then in the theater, one of them is playing a Machiavellian character, you know, an antagonist. This person can have agreed to cause challenges for you who is playing the hero in the show. Because from the souls perspective, from your soul’s perspective, what you are striving for during each lifetime is maximum growth and maximum spiritual expansion.
Why Do Souls Choose Hard Lives?
Sometimes you may hear people why they chose these particular parents? Or why did they choose these challenges that come with these specific people? Often, in any close relationship, some challenges arise. Occasionally, there is almost a form of karma or entanglement with two souls. An entanglement that causes one of you to be revolving in and out of incarnations. You do this until you sort out that challenge with one another. Like a spiritual “groundhog day.”
Once more the answer is, yes, you do choose your parents, they are preordained. Yet every incarnation you have, you do not have the same personality. You don’t look the same. You are not the same; you have a completely different personality. This personality is called the body personality. When your soul incarnates into a new lifetime, it’s almost like you put on a new outfit, play a different role.
You are going to be the mother this time. And this is your outfit. These are the characteristics of your character that you are playing, and so on. And so, while on a soul level, you are bonded by love. At the level of the body personality, you are putting on different guises. You interact with members of your soul group from the perspective of those various guises.
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As an example, you want to explore the themes of perfectionism in your incarnation. This ego competition may require you to have your parents help you explore those themes. The two souls who are playing the role of your parents may have characteristics that challenge you. Maybe you have a mother who is highly perfectionist about how you look. You have to be turned out perfectly, dressed perfectly, hair perfect. The concept is that if you are out in public, how you look reflects on her, and so on.
So from a very young age, you are brought up under the perfectionism of how you look and how you appear in public. This upbringing gives you a massive dose of perfectionism for you to work on with your wife, family, or friends. At the same time, you get to look at the flip side of perfectionism deeply. Self-thoughts about like, I’m not good enough. I don’t look good enough. I’ve got a hair out of place; I have dirtied my clothes, or whatever it may be. Because you’re exploring the theme of perfectionism, you get a perfectionist father but in a different way.
He may be highly competitive and drives to be the best. It could be in sport; it could be in academics. He most probably will want and expect the same of you because you are his child. Once more, you will show him up if you are not as perfect as he believes he is regarding those things. Your whole upbringing is a hotbed and a concentrated focus on perfectionism, ego, competition, and comparing yourself to other people, constantly striving to be the best.
All the while, underneath dealing with the unworthiness, or self-judgment and criticism. So that is one relatively common example.
Fate Vs. Destiny
What is fate, and what is destiny? How can you have fate and destiny, and free will? How can things be preordained, and at the same time, you have free will. This concept depends on how you define preordination. This idea of preordination often has a religious connotation. Something that God has decreed, there is no other choice than to have this upon you. As discussed earlier, you all come to some form of incarnation with specific themes to explore. One of these themes can be your life purpose.
And, the concept is that it is your destiny to explore this particular theme. But within that theme, you do have free will. Nothing is cut in stone. You choose how that goes through the different choices that you make. But you are still exploring that theme whether regardless of the choices you make. From your perspective, in your body personality level of existence, you have free will because you’re in this world of duality, which means there are always choices. There are always this or that because you do not exist in oneness. You are living in separation; you exist in duality.
Does your soul or does Source Energy, God already knows everything that will be experienced within your life? Yes. How can that be? You are on the ground living this life and don’t know what’s coming next. You have free will. And yet you are saying, from a higher perspective, your soul and your divine source see all laid out? How is that possible? It looks pretty paradoxical.
Well, the answer is that you exist in time and space. God and all Spirit have awareness within the divine source energy of everything in existence. Absolutely everything about you is known at that level of reality. From a soul’s perspective, it exists outside of time and space. Therefore it has a different perspective on the life journey that you are taking. Spirit can move anywhere in time and see the outcome.
You only have that experience of free will and choice because you are in time and space. You seem to choose, yet it is all already chosen in essence.
Can My Preordained Destiny Be To Be A Bad Person?
Do souls choose to be evil or murderers? Why do these souls end up on Earth? Life on Earth is dichotomous. It is based on duality. It is based on opposites. So every single one of you that incarnate on this planet has experienced the extremes of those polar opposites. That’s why you are here. So there is no single one of you that hasn’t had an incarnation, where you were the one who plays the role of the murderer, or the thief or, or some other evil individual. It is not as simple as there are evil souls and good souls. All Souls are based on love. And are you preordained that you are going to come and live a life as a murderer? In some instances, it yes.
This “bad or good” personality all depends on the theme that you are exploring. If the role that you choose to carry out is a violent person, you might incarnate in a time where there’s turmoil, war, bloody battles with swords, and the like. The odds may be that that is a likely scenario that you will end up in a soldier on the battlefield, fighting for your life.
It might just go that you are the perpetrator. Or it might go the way that you are the victim. Earth is a schoolhouse. It’s a schoolhouse, even a kindergarten, for learning how to exist in a highly polarized state. How awful people end up on Earth. Those souls are just like you. You, too, could have had a life like that or more than one lifetime like that.
Join us on this episode of Unlocking Your Truth, Before I Incarnated Was The Choice Of My Parents Preordained. Get answers to questions such as: Do we choose our parents or is it left to fate, is preordained destiny real?
Life Purpose and Your Chakras
Questions and comments from listeners during the broadcast of Before I Incarnated Was The Choice Of My Parents Preordained.
- So do souls choose to be evil or murderers? How do those souls end up on Earth?
- I know I chose this; I remember it.
- Do we always reincarnate into the current time on Earth? Or do we also reincarnate into a time in the past from today’s viewpoint?
- I have a question a bit off-topic concerning my soul group. I long to be with SG, but I have no idea how to connect, and she is lost in her own thoughts of who I am. I long for a sincere expression. Thank you.
- Does our spirit ever become “free,” or does it always reincarnate?
- Does this mean that we are responsible for what happens in our lives, good or bad?
- How does karma fit into preordination?
- Neutralizing karma within the soul family is essentially ancestral healing? The group will all feel that transcendence?
- That’s so cool. Lol, I didn’t think of that, but now that you say I may find someone else to get entangled with, I see those patterns more clearly now as well. Thank you!!!
- How would we neutralize karma instantly?
- After listening to many of your podcasts, I understand the solution to finding answers, expanding awareness, uncovering blocks, etc., is meditation. You emphasize grounding and centering meditation often, and sometimes you say, “meditate on it.” Is there another type of meditation you can recommend? Maybe even meditating while active?
- How do we recognize the lesson to help us move on? I get the part about Love to help release bad karma, but if we don’t recognize the lesson does it matter?
- Neutralize karma by “Absolute surrender into the present moment.” OK, I’ve got some homework, thanks!
- I have a strong past life image of being in a fight to the death with my mother. We hit the ground running in this life. Now I am focused on sending her love, so I do not carry it forward again.
- How many of you believe in Hindu culture?
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Unlocking Your Truth is my weekly radio show. We discuss metaphysical things during the one-hour show, such as Before I Incarnated Was The Choice Of My Parents Preordained! The show airs on CIVL 101.7 FM at 7-8 PM (Pacific Time) every Tuesday evening or live-stream the show at CIVL.ca.
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