Am I Depressed, Lazy Or Just Foolish?
“Help, I am spinning my wheels and find my self stuck in life in a place I don’t want to be.”Have you ever found yourself in a rut, proverbially? Not in a car but in a holding pattern in your life that feels exhausting and stale? Actually, many of us do. At some period in your lifetime have you experienced a feeling like you were trapped in a way of living that has felt limiting or even suffocating. It can feel like you are in a groundhog day cycle of sorts, a series of behaviors or actions that just are not what your dream life should be like. When so many of your practices and patterns feel completely out of sync with what you truly value in your life.
If you have you ever heard yourself saying something similar to “I am Spinning My Wheels?” and I would hazard a guess to say everyone has done exactly this at some time in their life, it is very difficult to know what to do. It could be that you are stuck somewhere in life and you’re depressed and can’t get out. When you’re feeling stuck in life, feeling trapped in your own mind or maybe feeling trapped in a relationship or in a job with no progression it is difficult for you to think straight or contact your heart to search out your truth.
If you have ever been to a pet shop you most certainly have seen the gerbils or hamsters in their little exercise machine, the Wheel. These wheels are interesting. They spin and spin and the little pets end up in the same place with sore ears because these wheels seem to squeak at an irritating pitch. All this is normal for the gerbil. For we humans not so much. We hate doing something over and over again and getting the same results especially when it ends up in a negative outcome. This of course had been assigned the term, ‘Definition of insanity”. Aptly put I would say.
Spinning My Wheels And Stress Management
It may not drive you literally insane but it may seem like it at times. This seeming never-ending wheel spinning causes uncomfortable stress and anxiety symptoms and can lead to depression and even unhealthy and dangerous physical issues. Learning how to deal with stress and anxiety can be challenging.
Stress Management Skills
One thing that we don’t feel is urgent to understand or take the time to learn about are stress management strategies Generally until we are confronted with an issue. And when we have reached the point when we need help with how to control stress and anxiety it is too late. It is kind of like jumping into the deep end and then realizing you can’t swim. Then as opposed to trying to move forward and get out of the pool we just focus on who pushed you and that you are upset and why didn’t you get that swimming lessons while you slowly drown.
Why do you experience this stuckness? Mostly this occurs when there is a disconnect between what you want and what you have and not knowing how to attain those things in life you yearn for. Basically, you feel a disconnect in your life. It is much like trying to reach a building that you can see off in the distance but is so lost in the city streets and no matter what you do, where you turn you cannot seem to get there. This feeling of exasperation can be both frustrating and distressing. It provokes a feeling of “spinning your wheels” trying your best but not getting anywhere. It has the all-consuming effect of stalling your life and losing all hope. The more you spin the more depressed or despondent you feel. It is hard to face the idea that you are powerless to create a transformation in your own life. This all leads to a state of anxiety and stress.
I Am Just Spinning My Wheels And Don’t Know How To Stop?
Maybe you are asking yourself the question “why am I so unhappy with my life.” Some people have a terrible sensation of feeling stuck in a relationship and being trapped at home. At times it can seem like your life’s journey is pointless and empty. Some people can even get to a point where they think that life is terrible why live. What to do when you feel like your life has no meaning? The issue here is that you can start thinking about all these things and get absolutely stuck in your mind like a hamster going round and round in his exercise wheel.
If you are feeling stuck in your life, stalled in your progression, it can be extremely exasperating. Learning how to deal with anxiety and stress can be challenging to many. You may even be thinking “I’ve been wasting my time. “ This is the sensation of spinning your wheels. It could be spiritually, mentally, career-wise, emotionally even physically. There are definite ways to get past these non-effective stages in your life.
Here are a few basic steps of the process:
Recognize And Accept:
There are ways to reduce anxiety and learn how to reduce stress naturally. Start the healing by determining what is causing the issue. This may sound easier than it is in practice. Deep issues may not necessarily be clear, so recognizing precisely what has you feeling these negative emotions is important. In many cases it will be very apparent in others it can be more subversive. Whether it is a relationship issue with someone or a specific event that is causing you anxiety or stress identifying it is a great first step.
It can be difficult to look in the mirror and face the truth in a lot of cases but critical. Understanding that you have stalled and you acknowledging the emotion that put you there is fundamental to healing. This exercise must be approached with a specific attitude as well. As difficult as it may be you must take responsibility for your actions and feelings. You create your reality. No One Else. Laying blame will not help you in any sense.
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How To Manage Stress In Life
The first part of your anxiety and stress management activities may have been a little difficult to control, understanding what happened without laying blame. However, once you have determined the reason that you are upset, why you are spinning those wheels of yours you are well on your way to recovery. You are moving even if it is ever so slightly. Once you have the understanding of the “what” the stimulus that has you feeling this stuckness then comes the next step on the road to healing, determining the reason it has you so perturbed.
One way to do this is with positive self-talk. You can make statements like, “I am anxious or stressed or depressed because…” Always begin with the word I because again it is your responsibility you feel the way you do. Something has triggered this feeling within you yet it was your choice in a sense to react to stimulus.
As an “I” statement you accept the obligation of healing. It then does not lay outside of you. You have taken control. Now it is time to understand why this issue has made you stuck. Another “I” statement can be effective. “I am angry or upset at or fearful of (the issue you have unveiled) because…” Why has this specific issue upset you so drastically?
‘I am angry with George because I fell he trusts me unfairly and that is painful.”
“I’m annoyed with my partner because I feel I am not being respected.”
“I am upset with not having a nice place to live and have to live in this shack.”
Fear may also kick in. Take a breath, time to process the thoughts, emotions, and events surrounding your issues. You do not need to instantaneously react. Take a little time to bolster yourself and focus on some positive attributes. We all have them. You just need to look deep enough.
Take Mental and Emotional Inventory:
You have faced your spinning wheels and the darker side of your life. Bravo! Consider what is holding you back. Most likely the answer will be your own belief system. Once you can see some clarity around this step you are almost there.
Set A New Focus:
You have faced the dragon now it is time to redirect your efforts. Take the time to learn how to relax. Mediation, deep breathing, exercise, seek mentoring (if needed) and healthy eating can calm you and allow you to see the trees as opposed to the forest as well as the path that leads you out. Basically, these activities will help you live in the present, the now, and take back control of the monkey mind.
These steps are much about feeling the fear and doing it anyway. Sounds easy and simple and at the same time “not so much”. The only and I mean only way out of spinning your wheels and being stuck is Action. You have what it takes to just that. Move! You have looked at where you are and most probably where you want to be so you have the roadmap to get there. Remember the longest journey starts with the first step. Then the next and the next and so forth! Most do not happen overnight. Do not forget to enjoy the scenery on the way. Also very important is “don’t be attached to the outcome”.
This means to let go of the control of the solution and how it appears to you. There is no rule that states that you need to be right or receive some form of retribution for your pain. Also on the occasion, there may not be a satisfactory outcome as far as a resolution is a concern. No one says sorry to you. Life can be like that unfair that is. Acceptance is the best way to move on from there.
It is not about caring or being uncaring of how the issue has or hasn’t been resolved. It is about taking care of yourself. The outcome ‘is’ the outcome. This was only one event in your life. You handle everything else well enough to be happy. Allow this to pass. Time does heal all.
Be Your Own Hero: Put on your armor and carry a shield. Fear can creep back in. It is always there in the back of your mind. Remember the old acronym, False Evidence Appearing Real. None of it is real. You must slug on. It may seem a bit cruel “get over it”.
In Pain – Need A Healing?
In this Podcast you will learn:
- How to recognize that you are stuck.
- How to deal with stress in a relationship.
- How to deal with anxiety at work.
- Why we spin our wheels.
- How to stop “Spinning My Wheels?”.
Join us in this episode of Unlocking Your Truth, Spinning My Wheels Has Me Stuck In My Life to learn how to take the steps necessary to help you stop the anxiety and heal from life’s challenges.
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Unlocking Your Truth is my weekly radio show where we discuss all things metaphysical like Spinning My Wheels Has Me Stuck! And much more! The show airs on CIVL 101.7 FM at 7-8PM (Pacific Time) every Tuesday evening or live-stream the show at CIVL.ca. During each of our Unlocking Your Truth episodes, we also answer email questions from our listeners (click here to submit a question) as well as occasionally do readings live on air for our call in guests. You can call in 604.504.7441 ext 4142 and ask anything you want.